The Silent Opener

So now that you have preserved as much social value as you can by not breaking any of the cardinal rules of dance floor game what’s next? The opener. The Silent Opener would probably be more accurately described as the the nonverbal opener because it relies exclusively on nonverbal cues to communicate dominance and assertiveness.

There are two forms of silent openers that my colleagues and I perform on the dance floor; ‘the bait and reel’ and ‘the pound.’

Bait and reel
The bait and reel is the simplest form of dance floor opener, in fact, it is the method you are most likely to see so-call natural performing in a club. You’ve seen it before, a totally random guy walking right up to a girl and initiating a dance without saying a single word. What seems like magic is no more than several intentional actions that project dominance and assertiveness to a players target.

• The Bait
  Described before the bait involves inciting eye contact with a target in a way which seems serendipitous. Glance slight to the left or the right of your target to try to catch a glance, once she’s bitten the bait, turn your head to her and acknowledge her glance.

• The Approach
  Smile warmly, lock eye contact and approach with purpose. Try to walk in the straightest line possible towards her. Do not smile like a creep or a kid being tickled, but instead give the impression that you’re mildly amused by her being entranced by you. The amazing thing about this is that as long as eye contact is locked before you start moving, you’ll be able to approach from any distance. Optimum is about 10 to 15 feet, but I’ve walked longer distances without eye contact being loss.

• The Initiation
  On your approach take mental note of where her hands are. Once you’re one to one and a half feet away from her, take her hand lift it up and spin her around. The entire process is so alpha she’ll be thinking more about how not to mess it up than about who you are and why she shouldn’t dance with you.

Pound and Spin
Although this move is a bit gimmicky it can be used in situations where you do not have enough social proof to do a standard approach or with very good looking girls or sets that otherwise would blow out a direct approach. In situations where my social proof has been reset or not as high as I would like for whatever reason, I use the Pound and Spin to reestablish myself. This method is especially good at breaking open dance circles of girls.

• The Approach
  Walk up to the set with high energy and confidence and move directly to your target. Lean over and ‘confide’ in a person who is not your target to ‘watch this’

• The Initiation
  Stick your fist out like you are about to give some props and make eye contact with your target. Wait expectantly for her to put two and two together. She’ll usually slowly perform the prop action without any additional goading or prompting on your part. After the prop action is taken, maintain eye contact as you hold her hand and elevate it to the ceiling. After both of your hands are above her head, spin her around and commence dancing. Like the direct approach above, the entire motion should be smooth, and when performed properly comes off as super alpha.

These two initiation openers are guaranteed to open any set 90-97 percent of the time if performed correctly. One thing I’d add is that when you are doing either you need to divorce your self from the result and simply be in the moment. Even if you got shot down moments ago clear all that from you mind and think about presenting positive energy. Personally, the only times these openers work is when I have self doubt or apprehensions about opening. When I separate myself from the end result and focus on putting a positive confident approach out there positive results follow.

Next Post- Dance Game – Part 3 – Escalation

One of the areas that the pick up community tends to avoid like the plague is dance floor opening and attraction techniques. Most people avoid this aspect of the game because they feel like you need to be some super talented dancer to pull anything from the dance floor. In actuality this is far from the truth, and with a little bit of practice you can conquer what has been called by some, the El dorado of pickup.

Dance Floor Rules of Thumb
There are three basic principles you need to internalize when you’re on the dance floor

• Never stand by yourself on a dance floor
• Make eye contact then open
• Never linger without acting

Lets go over each of these points to foster an understanding of each.

Never stand by yourself on a dance floor – Social proof is critical in dance floor game. The ultimate destoyer of social proof is standing alone on the dance floor looking on or scanning the scene. This doesn’t make you look cool, it mkes you look creepy. It doesn’t matter if you have a drink in your hand you still look creepy. If you came with friends, stand by them and feign a conversation if you’re on the dance floor. If you’re by yourself go to the bar area and run regular attraction material to win over and move a set from the bar to the dance floor. Both of these actions will give you a launch pad and home base to come back to as you launch your dance openers throughout the night.

Making eye contact – This rule is less absolute for younger ages (18 – 20) but is an absolute must for older ages (21+). It’s kind of difficult to explain the right way to do this without pictures or diagrams but you want to try to incite a glance without staring. People naturally glance at objects or things that they perceive are looking at them. Try looking slightly to the left of someones temple (bait) when you’re walking by them at the mall or supermarket. They’ll look at you first to see if you’re looking at them (bit) but realize that you’re not, but in that moment you turn your head right at them and catch them looking at you (caught) and meet them with a genuine smile. Not only will they feel a tad bit guilty for staring, but your smile will disarm them enough to start a conversation. On the dance floor this technique is essential to making the approach feel both natural and spontaneous. You want to position yourself and your group ~ 45- 75 degrees from the straight field of vision of your prospect (i’ll probably draw a diagram for this). It’ll take a while to master but making and locking eye contact with prospects immediately before approaching broadcasts that you’re an alpha who isn’t afraid of taking what he wants after he’s seen it.

Never linger- Many of you are familiar with the three second rule in bar and daytime game. On the dance floor you have 1 to 2 seconds to act after establishing eye contact or else you need to reset (both in positioning, timing, and target). By giving you and your target such a limited time window you decrease the chances of both you and target making excuses on why you shouldn’t dance. Net net, the more you fight those internal demons the greater chance of rejection

Next post- Dance Floor Game – Part 2 – The Silent Opener

~Profit

So you dropped your killer opener, it flies marvelously, you scan the set and engage your target by asking-

“So… where are you guys coming from tonight”
or
“So… what do you do”

All of a sudden your target seems less engaged and eye codes to her friends for an out…

I’m sure many of us have noticed a sizable drop in energy when a conversation shifts from the observational (this DJ sucks) or the theoretical (who lies more guys or girls) to something more pedestrian like what do you do, or where do you work.

Why?

For the most part, people go out to get away from their day to day, directly asking a prospect about her school, background, or career early in the engagement is total buzz kill, especially, as is often the case, what she does is not what she’s passionate about. Not only that, but questions like these telegraph too much interest. Why should you care about where she came from or what she does? At this point in the pick-up all that matters is that she’s right in front of you having a conversation with you. These questions should be reserved for later on in the pick-up after attraction is generated and the focus shifts from manufacturing interest to generating comfort and rapport.

Instead of moving to these logical, yet unimportant questions your focus your energies on creating a party atmosphere. Your goal during the early pick up should be to generate interest and/or intrigue. Stack your set with a game (e.g strawberry fields, five questions), a challenge/banter (negs, friendly teasing, joking), or a cold read (e.g. Ring or palm reading). Continue stacking hard until you start getting the indicators of interest that suggest she’s ready for rapport building and seduction.

If anything SHE should be the one that switches the tone of the conversation from the party atmosphere to the mundane interview questions signifying HER interest in getting to know the puppet master behind the strings.
-Profit

I witnessed the effects of something that almost defied logic this weekend- The reverse cockblock.

I’m sure all of us have been in a position where someone or something gets in the way of our gaming. It could be a mother hen, jealous girlfriend, or a crappy DJ. Collectively, these obstacles are called cock blocks and they serve to hinder game by throwing sarcastic remarks, setting the wrong tone, or otherwise throw you off your game.

But what if a statement perceived as cockblock served to build more attraction? Enter the reverse cockblock.

Here’s how it works

PUA and his wing opens a set and PUA isolates his target, while his wing rolls off. PUA builds decent rapport and excuses himself (to the bathroom, to make a call, buy a drink whatever, it doesn’t matter). PUA’s Wing then swoops in and drops the following dialog:

Wing: Hey what’s up, i see you and person A are getting along (to target)
Target: Yeah, he’s cool
Wing: Well, i don’t mean to hate or anything, don’t get your hopes up, he talks to a lot of girls, and even if he gets your phone number he probably won’t call.
Target: (shocked): ook
Wing: Yeah, I’m a nice guy and you seem like you’re really into him so I’m just letting you know
Target: uhh, ok, thanks
Wing: Anyway I gotta bounce

What’s key in the reverse cock block is the reason for disqualification. In order to work, the PUA needs to be disqualified because of his ability to get and charm girls. When the interaction resumes the PUA should not direct address what the wing said unless the target brings it up. If she doesn’t bring it up and continues the dialog, it’s money, she’ll be flattered that the PUA is continuing to talk to her despite his ‘player’ reputation. Continue to game and increase attraction and close.

If she does bring it up, she’s showing insecurity and it’s a great time to qualify her. Address it head on, say something to the effect of “Yes, I do chat with a lot of girls, but there was something special about you that makes me want to talk to YOU tonight instead of anyone else here.” Move on and continue to game.

This is a FIELD TESTED technique, but it’s still in the midst of testing this at different points in the game cycle. I’ve seen this done Modified where it’s performed at the end of a cycle after the PUA #closes. This allows to have your wing increase her surprise/receptiveness when the PUA actually calls her the next day.

After much deliberation on whether I wanted to go out or tend to a cold that I had picked up from a weekend of partying, I decided to head out to a New Years Eve house party in the Sunset with some good friends.

In a future post I’ll describe the different types of venues and appropriate approaches for each but to be succinct here, the party was a typical house party where I personally knew only the two people I arrived with and no one else. In fact the person who asked me to accompany him to the party only knew the person throwing the party and it seemed like most of the people at the party were in the same boat. In other words it was the perfect prospecting environment since we didn’t have to deal with cliques or contend with ‘historic impressions’ of who we were.

Arriving at the party we found the ratio to be roughly 60 – 40 men to women which is far from great, but still workable. To establish social proof and to ease myself into a conversational mood, I opened and became engaged with a mixed set with no direct targets. One thing you’ll notice is that once you are engaged in casual conversation with a group, you’ll instantly become more approachable and actually will be opened by sets who notice that you are enjoying yourself. It’s important to remember that when you’re in the field you shouldn’t be actively scanning for prospects while doing nothing, you should always appear to be as social, or at least approachable as possible. This is especially important in venues like house parties where you’ll have plenty of opportunities to open, soft close, and re open target rich sets. Many beginning ‘pick-up artists’ are so focused on psyching themselves up to open their top target that they actually LOSE value by being unengaged and distant while they psyche themselves up.

I’m going to take a minute now to explain a bit of theory that will help you to understand the technique we used for the majority of the night

***Game Theory – Pipelining***

Whether it’s implicit or not, my wings and I have developed a system that I like to call pipelining to help increase our conversion ratios at closed social events like house parties. When executed properly it offers you and your wings both social proof and supply of targets to both open and evaluate for compatibility

Unless you’re using a wagering opener (will be discussed in a future post) it is *very* awkward and ineffective to approach a set of any size with more than one person. Pipelining, in it’s simplest form is the sequential introduction of members of your clique to a set (e.g., hey this is my friend ___, he’s from New York and says that Californian’s are idiots). In a more masked form they serve as a soft introduction/opener. Here’s an example from New Years Eve:

Wing: Yeah, I came here with my friends from high school
Target: Oh, where are they?
Wing (motioning to me, already engaged in conversation with a mixed set): He’s over there, but it looks like he’s being social, haha, I can introduce you two later
Target: Ok cool, blah blah blah

As you can see from that short bit of dialogue, pipelining gives me social value (by virtue of being temporarily unavailable), my wing social value (by having social *read: interesting* friends), and his target a sense of anticipation and reason to continue her conversation with my wing (introduction to a new, perhaps interesting, and clearly social person).

Don’t underestimate that last bit. Women are just like men in that at some level of their personality they are insecure about meeting new people, especially of the opposite sex. Giving her an in to meet someone new is a good demonstration of value.

Throughout the night, both myself and my wings setup and pipelined several targets to one another when we felt the conversation was lagging, or not the right type of interest or chemistry was bubbling between ourselves and our targets.
Pipelining also has the positive effect of increasing the likelihood of a target introducing you to her friend spread across the party, which is exactly how I was introduced to what turned out to be the night’s prime close.

***Field Report Continued***

After some brief banter and an introduction from her friend (who I just met, through pipelining), I was prospecting C. Knowing I already had the upper hand from the social proof her friend had given me (how generous), I shifted to a much more laid back approach. Since it was NYE contextual conversation topics like high’s and low’s of 2007 quicked moved into her dictating her life story to me… The occasional light touch on the arm, or helped build a level of confort between us.

Me: Oh so why are you studying bio
C: oh cause blah blah blah
M: Really (light touch on arm), because you seem like the person that really throws herself into things. I know I tried bio and it really didn’t work out for me
C: yah blah blah blah (leaning in looking for more comfort touches).

In our conversation she opened up pretty acutely dropped some pretty heavy stuff on me that I really wasn’t expecting, but I rolled with the punches and continued with the comfort touches until:

C: I’m going to ask a really bold question here
M: Oh yeah what’s that
C: Are you seeing anyone right now?
M: haha… that was pretty bold, but haha no
C: Ok, im going to ask another bold question
M: Shoot
C: Would it be ok if I gave you my number
M: haha… sure blah blah
C: Promise to call me ok

It’s not the first time this has happened, but I’ve noticed the circumstances that it occurs in are similar, nearly always at a closed house party… Anyway based on my experience it’s always best to continue the conversation after this type of number close. We chat for a bit and I excuse myself from the conversation to ‘find my friend.’

After finding him she comes back and RE-OPEN’s me… As we banter more, I comfort more, and here she leans closer and closer towards me until:

C: It’s kinda loud in here
M: Yeah, you wanna talk outside
C: Sure…

Nine times out of ten, moving a conversation to a quieter place means m/o session. Personally, unless there’s a route for escalation m/o sessions after a long conversation don’t really add much to the overall game. You already have built up your value and buying temp. A m/o will only serve as a valve to release some of that temp if you don’t F-close that night. In this case however, I thought an F-close wasn’t out of reach so I acquiesced. Unfortunately literally 90 seconds after we were outside, my wing (and ride home) announced we were leaving. So I ended up with an abbreviated K-close.

-Profit

Who are you?

It’s more than a question, it is your defining question. Who. Are. You. What do you represent. Why should you matter. What do you bring to the table. What do you want from life. What do you want from the people around you.

Everyone has different answers to the questions posed above, but it is through exploring the answers to the questions that people can foster an appreciation for who they are and an acknowledgement of where they want to go.

I’ve met too many people in the so-called community that have a flawed, goal oriented mind-set. Tactically they go out into ‘the field’, approach, open, and close mechanically, without really understanding what’s going on beneath. They use specific tools like canned openers, borrowed stories, and forced touches in an attempt to arrive at a destination in which they are not adequately prepared to arrive at.

I’ll be the first to tell you, it’s easy to close numbers. I’ll also be the first to tell you, numbers aren’t shit. It took me a long time to realize this because I had a flawed goal oriented mind-set. I was using tools which yes, worked, but no, didn’t bring me the results I wanted. To put it simply, I hit a wall and for the longest time didn’t understand why. It was only through reflection, introspection, and serious contemplation that and answer emerged… I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know what I represented. I didn’t know why I should matter. I didn’t know what I brought from the table. I was unclear on what I wanted from life, and most importantly, in terms of ‘the pick-up’, I didn’t know what I wanted from the people around me.

Answering those questions has been a journey, but through the exploration of those questions, I’ve been moved closer to where I wanted to be. No longer simply an ‘artist’ masquerading as a Pro, I’ve moved closer to becoming a Pick Up King.

Who are you?

-Profit